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my best ever

Oct. 28th, 2007 | 08:42 pm

I feel like Hilary Swank or Michelle Pfeiffer in one of those "urban school teacher" movies. It's really bizarre.

in other news: rwanda.$3500.april.finals.registration.future.chris.music.faith.giving.schools.
sanantonio.halloween.costumes.buzzlightyear.owen."ilubyou,misslindy".kai.birthday.family.
home.jill.savetheworld.rwanda.

"on our way, so it seems, blooming flowers waltz before me
rollin numbers, passing time, got to get outside the city,
in the morning all will see, just how crazy young love can be
on our own away again, don't get down my darlin"

i'd like to say "I'm doing my best", but there's always more to give.

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Apocalypse Please

Jun. 21st, 2007 | 09:44 pm
music: Muse

"It's time we saw a miracle.
Come on it's time for something biblical
To pull us through."

Amen, Muse. Amen.

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Not as many as I thought

Jun. 16th, 2007 | 09:16 pm

I remember laying in the trunk of your jeep, stuck in traffic with music blaring and then I found a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle umbrella in the pile of stuff I was laying in. I asked if I could have it, but it belonged to your little brother.
I remember driving in your car thirty seven miles past the exit on I-10, because we were so deep in conversation and Patrick was asleep in the backseat. We almost made it to San Angelo.
I remember the mistletoe.
I remember sitting on Trey's balcony and seeing a car drive down the sidewalk. Then the car stopped and you and Hunter got out and I asked you what the hell you were doing driving on the sidewalk.
I remember sitting on the concrete floor in awe of you as you moved through the crowd, then you came back to me and told me you loved me.
I remember seeing you at ACL in the smallest shorts I've ever seen.
I remember sitting in the bed of your truck, talking as you played your guitar until the wee hours of the morning.
I remember drawing on your walls with highlighters.
I remember your face when Dessie fell off the stage during Androcles rehearsal.
I remember waking up on Brian's bed and you were sitting an inch from me and I had no idea where I was or what was going on.
I remember when you hid under my bed at mission trip and Olivia turned off the lights and told me that Jake had laid on my bed and I jumped up and you had climbed out from under my bed and grabbed me. I almost peed my pants. Then my dad came in, looking terrified, saw you, sighed, and made you go back upstairs.
I remember Into the Woods when you hit on every girl in sight and tried to pull down my skirt, exposing my unitard every time I step-crossed by you.
I remember walking up behind you as you stood against the railing. I touched your shoulder and you turned around. I held you as you cried for what seemed like hours.

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And the tears come streaming down your face

Jun. 3rd, 2007 | 02:13 pm
mood: hothot

I have so much to be thankful for, but it's hard to find peace without closure.

I have this thing about doors. They have to be all the way open or closed. I can't stand it when they're in between, but the worst is when they're barely cracked.

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Answer:

May. 18th, 2007 | 11:44 pm
music: Breathe owl Breathe - Home

While the answers proposed were enlightening, I have an answer.

No. Leave it alone. Not because it's safe, but because I'm trying this thing called patience.
Apparently it's a virtue or something.

On a different note,
I fucking love Austin, Texas.

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Question:

May. 15th, 2007 | 02:46 pm
location: Bed
music: Arcade Fire - Ocean of Noise

Yes or No?

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Trivial

Apr. 29th, 2007 | 02:14 pm

Sometimes you get so wrapped up in your own life that you forget that the world has much bigger problems than exams, stupid friends and ex-boyfriends. It's ridiculous that it took me spending the night in a field of cardboard with 4800 other people to realize that, but I'm glad it happened. And I'm glad I saw Bugg.

I'm coming home in a week. Woo.

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Wasted words. Lower-cases and capitals.

Apr. 24th, 2007 | 07:21 pm

I've found that I can't even speak on my own any more. Only in the words and melodies of others... I even made a list. Some talented, some not so much. Basically, I don't like where I am now. I don't like ignoring feelings and emotions in a weak attempt at "happiness". I don't like distracting myself with things as trivial as textbooks and essays. I just want to come home. The only problem is that "home" doesn't exist anymore. My home disappeared a while ago. My house in Austin hasn't been home for nine months. This dorm room will never be my home. They say "home is where the heart is". Ha, that home was distinguished. I don't know why I'm writing, especially in this manner. I guess it's just a sign of the times. Yeah, a sign of the distance and speed of our culture, but also the distance between us. The internet was created to connect people who are far away from each other physically. Now it just makes it easier to distance yourself from the people who you love, but you're too scared to see or touch. Ironic? Sure, but such is life.

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She's only happy in the sun...

Mar. 25th, 2007 | 05:32 pm
music: Townes Van Zandt

I haven't been myself lately... well basically for the past 2 weeks.

Sometimes it means I'm weird.
Sometimes it means I say things I don't mean. At all.
Sometimes it means I don't call when I say I will.
Sometimes it means I get upset about things that are trivial.
Sometimes it means I'm a bad friend.

Poor choice?



...and for that, I apologize.

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Que?

Mar. 5th, 2007 | 01:04 pm
music: Sufjan Stevens

Spring Break is in four days and I could not be more thrilled. If you'd asked me last weekend, I probably would've said I'd rather skip it and stay in San Antonio. Clearly, I was delusional. I really miss a lot of people and I think it's about time we stop talking about this Toby Show reunion thing and actually make it happen.

I love Jill Lancaster more than words can express.
I am SO glad I'm not in a sorority.
I can't wait til summer.
I bought tickets to see Damien Rice in May. Way excited.
I saw Rent this weekend at the Majestic Theater (where I saw Lion King last year), which is probably the most beautiful and ornate theater I've ever stepped foot in.


I want to play guitar. Will you teach me?

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